An Unexpected Detour
by MysticGuava
Summary: "Yaoi fangirls! Quick, run for it!" "What's so bad about Yaoi fangirls?" "You don't want to know!" Kakashi and Itachi discover why asking for directions isn't always the best option. Please R&R.


A/N: Well, this thing came along as a little side fic to a chapter fic I was writing in my head. The rough draft was written in about ten minutes at the end of Japanese class when I was supposed to be taking a practice quiz. My hand hurt like hell when I was done. But I finished them both! So yeah, enjoy.

Also, Itachi is quite OOC.

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When Fangirls Attack

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"We're lost."

"No we're not. I know exactly where we are."

"…We're lost."

Kakashi glared back at Itachi.

"We-are-not-lost!" he said forcefully. The younger nin raised a disbelieving eyebrow. Kakashi suppressed the urge to stick his tongue out at the raven and looked back down at the map. After a brief moment of studying it carefully, he frowned, then flipped the map upside down. Then on it's side. Then he turned it over. Finally he crumpled it up and threw it on the ground where he proceeded to stomp on it a few times for good measure. When Itachi raised his other eyebrow Kakashi grumbled, "This map is stupid" and kicked it once, just to make him feel better.

"So…we _are_ lost." Kakashi scowled.

"Yes, Itachi, we're lost." With a frustrated sigh Kakashi plopped down and leaned his back against a tree. Itachi watched him for a moment before he too took a seat on the forest floor. For a long while the two ninja sat in silence, Kakashi cursing all maps in general and Itachi repressing a small, amused smile. It was with this silence that the two came to hear a strange sound in the distance. They glanced at each other.

"Should we?" Itachi asked. Kakashi looked in the direction of the noise. It sounded an awful lot like chanting. Some kind of tribe maybe? Would they even know what Fire Country was?

"It can't hurt," the copy-nin replied. Decision made the two temporary traveling partners headed off into the woods, neither one remembering to pick up the forgotten map.

It wasn't long before Itachi and Kakashi saw a large clearing up ahead of them. The noise, which was indeed chanting, sounded to be coming from the clearing. So, just incase they had happened upon some weird, native, cannibal people, the two nins hid in the bushes. Cautiously, they peered out through the branches of their hiding spot and observed.

"Ah damn," Itachi muttered. The clearing was filled with cute girls. Not just any kind of cute girls either. No, Itachi was pretty sure that these were…(cue dramatic music) _fangirls_. They were all in large circle, dancing and chanting around something that was obscured from his view, but Itachi was pretty sure he didn't want to know anyway. The bushes to his left rustled and Itachi was horrified to see Kakashi stand up and stride right into the clearing. He gaped for a moment. Was the man insane? Quickly the Uchiha shook off his shock and scrambled into the clearing along side the older ninja with every intention of stopping the idiot before he did something stupid.

"This is a bad idea," he hissed in Kakashi's ear. The silver-haired nin smiled lazily at him with his one visible eye.

"Don't overreact Itachi," he said. "They're just a bunch of harmless girls.

"Girls are _not _harmless," Itachi mumbled, mind wandering back to his days in Konoha.

"_WE LOVE YOU ITACHI-KUN! KYAAAAAAAAAA!"_

"_LEAVE ME ALONE YOU SPAWN OF SATAN!"_

Itachi shuddered. Girls most definitely were _not _harmless.

"Yo!" Kakashi called, raising a hand in greeting. Every girl in the clearing froze. Their eyes locked onto the two shinobi. Itachi resisted the urge to take a step back. This was suicide. The circle of girls parted revealing the one who looked like their leader along with a small bit of what they had been dancing around. Itachi frowned. It looked…wooden. He activated his sharingan and noticed that there were chakra strings attached to the wood. He followed the chakra strings to a slim redheaded girl with creepy naturally red eyes that was standing off to the side, far from the circle. She too was looking at them, but with an expression that clearly said she was paid to be there. Well, at least she wasn't a fangirl.

Itachi's attention quickly returned to the rest of the girls when the leader stepped forward. He didn't like the look in her eyes.

"You are trespassing on sacred grounds!" she cried. "State your business! Depending on what it is you may or may not leave this clearing…unharmed." Itachi glanced furtively at Kakashi.

"We should run for it now, while we still have the chance," he whispered.

"Stop being such a pansy," Kakashi said. Then he addressed the leader. "We seem to be a little lost. Could you point us in the direction of Fire Country?" The leader smirked maliciously.

"Sure, we know where that is," she said sweetly.

"…"

"…"

"…Are you going to tell us?"

"Sure, but this information ain't cheap and we want a…_special_ kind of payment." At that moment she stepped to the side giving Itachi a clear view of what the girls had been dancing around. He paled. _Somebody kill me now_, he thought._ Please! _Off to the side the redhead smirked.

In the center of the circle formed by the fangirls lay two puppets. But they weren't just any puppets. They were quite realistic and both designed to look like boys. Now, I bet your asking yourself "what's so scary about realistic boy puppets"? But you must understand, it wasn't the puppets that Itachi was so terrified of. It was what was being done with the puppets that made Itachi want to run away screaming like a little girl.

"Oh shit!" he exclaimed. "Yaoi fangirls! Quick, run for it!" Kakashi looked at him, confusion written clearly on his face.

"What's so bad about yaoi fangirls?" he asked, still quite oblivious to the puppet display right in front of his face. Itachi just shook his head, eyes darting briefly to the redhead. Her smirk widened and she jerked the chakra strings a little, making her puppets move in a rather…inappropriate way.

"You don't want to know," Itachi muttered. Kakashi looked back over at the girls. They didn't seem all that—wait, wait, wait; they were definitely not that close the last time he looked! When they hell did they…? Kakashi gulped.

"Itachi—" The jounin looked back over at the younger nin only to find that the man was already gone. Kakashi swore and took off into the foliage. There was one second of dead silence before:

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"OH GOD SOMEBODY SAVE ME! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"

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A/N: Kakashi is an idiot and Itachi was deeply traumatized as a child by his fangirls.

Just incase anyone was a little curious, the redhead who was controlling the puppets is an OC I came up with in the middle of writing this. I really wanted to put her in. Her name is Aya and she was inspired by a picture I found on deviantart. She's related to Sasori in someway, hence why she is a puppet master.

So yeah…please review?


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